Author Archives: thewayrosesbloom

I’ve struggled with forgiveness for at least three years. Two for sure, but three I think. The pain sort of pours forth when your last straw has broken. You have a chance to breathe. To think. All I can think tonight is about how much damage sin causes. It has made much dysfunction in ourContinue reading “Prayers”

The emptiness I feel is full. Usually you think of emptiness as lacking something. But sometimes it’s so vast you can feel it. Instead of dripping out, the bucket just grows fatter and fatter with the water. Each day, trying to survive. It hurts. My knees hurt. My neck hurts. I feel my sad family.Continue reading “Searching, searching”

I am so tired of fighting. And hearing fighting. Listening to raised voices. Feeling trapped. Walking on eggshells. Feeling numb. Shaking from hearing screaming. Hiding it from everyone outside the walls. Losing friends from being a Christian …but were they ever my friends? Maybe this too shall pass.

I talked with the Lord as I walked through the aisles and felt naked with shame. It was as if the shame leaked from me, as the Bible says, with blood on my skirts. Menstrual blood that showed my vile soul and vulnerability…the secrets that haunted me day by day. I have been hurt, butContinue reading “Musings on Post Thanksgiving Sunday”

There is always chaos. Sometimes it’s a storm, sometimes it’s confusion under a rainbow. The words came tumbling out the other day…this year has been a storm, leaving rainbows for scars. Evidence of good to come. Or that has come. From the badness and the darkness. But when you’re in a rainbow, or the sunContinue reading “Rainbow Scars”

Dear Lord, You saw me crying in the chapel. Where broken people go to pray. And I asked that I’d grow stronger. As I’ve lived from day to day. I searched and searched and I couldn’t find a way on Earth to find peace of mind. But there’s a place where people gather in theContinue reading “Crying in the Chapel”

I watch you hurt yourself.  And my eyes look away.  I see you gorge yourself.  And my eyes vomit tears.  An ache inside my intestines.  Wont you get up? Won’t you stop watching the TV?  Woddling to the room. I feel my butt jiggle. Watching.  I see you fight over food.  And sneak the bagContinue reading “Porcelain Cutter”

It’s 8.6.2020. I’m so tired. Lyme flare ups. Body aches. Caffeine and then adrenaline crashes. But also lots of great things. After all, I only come on here to whine. The common theme is loneliness and fear. Always fear of what’s next. I’m too comfortable at home. It makes it hard to leave. And theContinue reading “And…”

Isn’t it glorious to be told you’re loved? True, not everyone means it when they say it. Or they say it so much that not ever time carries the weight. But some people never hear it. And I’m blessed to hear it often, and be able to say it, too. The pandemic has been oneContinue reading “Isn’t it glorious?”

Have you ever wanted someone to offer you something grand, say, like a horse-drawn buggy stuffed with Cinderella dresses, just so you could say: “No thank you, I don’t need a horse-drawn buggy stuffed with Cinderella dresses. There’s a Tabebuia tree on the freeway to Pasadena, and if I had a buggy instead of aContinue reading “On The Way to the Ward, 3.9.20”