Settling

8.19.19

Today was a beautiful day. And though I still have a little dread about what might come tomorrow or the next day or the next, there’s still no denying that today was beautiful. In fact, the whole week has been beautiful. I don’t mind using the word over and over. Not everything is beautiful, but I haven’t found a better word yet that describes something inherently worth existing. Not sure if that makes sense. Doesn’t matter.

My family helped me move to the new land. I remember the plane ride. Get a pat down in the airport (only one in my family–also the only one had to be screened) because the bobby pins on my waistband set off the alarm. The girl had to pat down my lower body and the men made fun of her as she did it. Oh well. It was funny to me. And the magic of it all! I almost cried waving my cats goodbye and leaving the house. I had cleaned the room in the morning. And my friend and I had the most magical day shopping and getting ready together a day or two before. We got sexy underwear from Walmart to celebrate the change in life! She took me to the doctor to get my blood tested for chicken pox (the guy who drew my blood was really nice! He had to do it twice, though, because we got to talking and were distracted!). We’re writing each other about it, my girl and I. Still have to write a romance for her, too.

In the airport, waiting, my dear friend texted. He doesn’t text much, so it was good to hear from him. We said more meaningful things than we often do. He actually texted back quickly, which is rare. It took him a few days to answer the last one, actually.My brother rolled his eyes when we saw we were messaging. He (friend) said he learned how to play a Kanye song on the piano. He asked if I’d heard it. I downloaded it for the plane. The words, man, are pretty foul, but the song is interesting and now stuck in my head. Am pretty sure there are only seven notes on the piano that were played. Why do I still care to hear from this person when he makes it hard to…I got distracted and am not sure what am writing. So will stop now. Leave it there.

My family overwhelmed me with their love and kindness. They took me all around LA. Griffith, the beaches (Pacific Highway), Santa Monica (even treated my friend!), In and Out Burger…They took me shopping and helped me set up my new apartment. They did so much more than was asked, and rarely if at all did they fuss once the whole week. It was beautiful, the last week with them. They cried a lot. I cried in church today, but have done okay with holding it in. Yesterday was hard. I was by myself all day. But it might get better. The LORD blessed me with a wonderful day today. Tried the metro. Went to a church service. Three, actually. Met a bunch of new people. It really helps. He answered prayers. I hope He continues to bless me like He did today. And that He watches over my dear precious family at home. My heart hurts for the ungratefulness I’ve had. It doesn’t matter–we’re all sinners–but Christ has given us a thick love for each other. And love covers a multitude of sin. Lord, preserve them while I’m away.

I met a man named Maximilian today. His skin was dark and his eyes was yellow and his back was bent. He says he feeds the homeless, went to a tech/community college (hope I didn’t offend him bc I didn’t know where it was!), and his wife died of cancer, he said. He said he has five sisters and because of all the women in his life he was kind of a feminist. He helped me find the bus. “Remember, Maximilian,” he told me as I got on the bus again. I felt bad for being nervous about chatting with this stranger (not too bad, but a tad bad!). Can’t be too friendly, though. But he waited with me til the bus came. That was very nice of him. Lord, bless Maximilian for his kindness. And give him a church home if he doesn’t have one–he says he visits all the churches around. He seemed to love you, too.

I met a man today who is studying for his bar exam and does stand-up comedy on the side. He’s Canadian. I thought he was in high school, but he must be four years older than I!

Met a woman who isn’t anything like her sister although both are Canadian. She went to the same college as much of the congregation and has three kids. Her sister shares my name, but wore a short skirt and seemed a little more standoffish. She warmed up a bit, though.

I saw a girl who looked like someone at BSC.

And another who was tall but beautiful.

Two bus drivers–one who didn’t smile much but was super helpful, the first bus driver. The second who said not a word to me, but smiled warmly. So warmly. I guess it helps being a wide-eyed, confused minority here.

The people said the metro is fantastic, at the church I visited. A beautiful young girl from the Netherlands with a deep tan took me home, her brother in the back seat. She is going to a community college.

A girl from AL picked me up to go to another church. The church looked Greek Orthodox but it was episcopal. She is my age. We split a cookie afterwards and had coffee. Yum.

My new roommate is literally a Godsend. Someone to talk to, finally! She seems very sweet. I pray we continue to get along. It would be horrible sharing an apartment with someone I didn’t get along with! Hoping we all get along.

Called a friend today with Facetime. Got an email from a loved one. Dear, dear, friend.

Called my family. My brother sent me the sneak peek of a song he wrote. I feel so, so loved Lord. Lord, please don’t let me feel lost anymore. Let this be an everlasting light! Please help every day to be this peaceful and exciting. Oh Lord, I need thee, I need thee, every hour I need thee.

But bless those I love. Bless those who love me. Bless those around me, even those who don’t love me. Bless my loved ones and their loved ones. Protect and be with my family–animals, too. Churches. Cause me to be a light here that glorifies you. And to work the very best and the very hardest to GLORIFY YOU. In Christ’s name, a-men.